Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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