Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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