oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We had sex on a dog bed..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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