dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
