STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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