all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
