u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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