I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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