my shit smells like andre
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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