So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
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What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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