My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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