he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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