there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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