It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
