so explain again why im purple
no
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
