Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
