I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
