Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wear drunk well.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
