I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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