I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
