found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
