it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
