but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
