I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
