So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
