hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize