His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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