and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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