Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
