put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
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She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm too high and old for this...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
the raccoons are back...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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