I am puke
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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