Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
