I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
