I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
