I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
