I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize