I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
