I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
