But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
