He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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