So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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