Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
