dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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