I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
