Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
