On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
