I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Less talking, more tequila
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
