this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
