Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
