whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
