After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
