Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
