I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
