well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
