oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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