I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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