dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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