Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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