omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
