I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
