Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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