I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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